So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
now i know why i became what i already was.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
