hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize