When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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