Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
