You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
