Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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