i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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