it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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