Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Farmville is her only friend.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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