New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
