so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Can you bring me the toilet please
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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