We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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