casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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