I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
