you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
