Whod you bang
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
