So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
