Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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