Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just tell him i said nine months
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
