My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
