I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
