I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
