i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think your dad took our porno
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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