sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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