great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
