that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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