Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
