CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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