you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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