you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
