My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
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He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize