my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
