so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Randomize
