I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
