thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize