Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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