my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
