I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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