First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
