It's like God shit irony all over that family
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
