He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
