operation harelip BJ is a go
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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