yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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