Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Randomize
