a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
