your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
