At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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