Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
