sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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