...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
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you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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