so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
