Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
