the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
