he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
