do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
