dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize