I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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