I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
