And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
