1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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